I don’t want a dress

When I was about 10 or 11 years old, I couldn’t stand wearing dresses. The thought of being in something that felt so uncomfortable, especially if I decided to run around or be active, just didn’t sit right with me. I remember feeling trapped in my own clothes. When it was time for my 5th grade graduation, I was furious because my mother insisted I wear a puffy pink princess dress. All the other preteen girls were in stylish outfits, and

I kept telling myself,

“I don’t want a dress!”

I was so angry, I can vividly recall clenching my fists, completely frustrated by how I looked and felt.

Now, looking back, I realize I might have been a bit of a drama queen. But I understand why my mom dressed me that way—she wanted me to experience that "princess" moment before I grew out of it. I had an older brother, and I was always more into outdoor activities—playing in the grass, biking, and playing soccer—not sitting with tea cups and dolls like many other little girls.

Things took another turn when my parents enrolled me in modeling classes before I turned 13. Suddenly, I had to learn how to walk in heels, and embody the “feminine” image I had always resisted. And when I moved to Oregon, I encountered a huge culture shock. I was bullied for my looks and how I dressed. In a place where there weren’t many half-Salvadorans like me, I felt even more out of place. So, once again, I rebelled against femininity and refused to wear anything girly.

But that resistance didn’t last forever. It wasn’t until I was around 15 that I began to embrace dresses, skirts, and all the other feminine things I’d once rejected. And as for modest clothing? Well, that’s a whole different story, which I’ll be saving for another blog.

But in my early years, I really didn’t like wearing dresses. I still struggle with it sometimes. I’d always prefer my comfortable pants, jeans, or stretchy mom jeans—they’re just so much easier to move in. Dressing up every day can be a challenge, especially when life is filled with the chaos of family and all the mundane things we do day in and day out. But now, as a mother of two under two, I feel encouraged to dress up more, even if it’s hard. Some days, it feels impossible, especially when sleep is a distant dream.

I know what it’s like to not sleep for more than four hours at a time. I get it. In the beginning of my postpartum journey, I remember my midwife checking in with me, telling me I had to get at least five hours of sleep straight. I didn’t want to argue, but I couldn’t help but chuckle to myself. Yeah… impossible. Especially since my toddler was still adjusting to the newborn’s schedule, and sleep wasn’t exactly something I was getting a lot of.

But still, I encourage all women to dress up, even when you don’t feel like it. I understand the exhaustion, the chaos, and the challenges of motherhood.

Some days, it feels impossible to even think about changing out of my comfortable sweatpants or throwing on something other than my go-to lounge clothes. But taking just a moment to dress up—even if it’s something small, like putting on a nice long skirt, adding a little jewelry, or fixing my hair—can have a profound impact on how I would feel and I carry myself throughout the day.

There’s actually science behind this. Research shows that the way we dress affects our behavior, mindset, and productivity.

A study by the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology found that when we dress in a way that makes us feel confident, we not only boost our mood but also improve our cognitive function. This concept, called "enclothed cognition," suggests that the clothes we wear can influence our mental state and behavior. When you look in the mirror and see yourself looking put-together, even if it's just a small change, it can trigger a shift in your mindset. You'll start to feel more encouraged and motivated, and you'll see the day with a more positive and productive attitude.

So, even if you’re running on little to no sleep, or you feel like the world is just one big to-do list, taking the time to dress up—even in a small way—can create a domino effect. It’s not about vanity; it’s about giving yourself a boost of confidence and a little spark of joy, which can help you power through the day. When you feel good in your own skin, you’re more likely to take on challenges with a renewed sense of energy. And trust me, it makes a difference. You’ll start to feel more in control, more organized, and more present for yourself and your family.

It’s not easy, but it’s worth it. So, next time you’re feeling drained, remember that a small change in how you look might just be the thing that shifts your whole day in a better direction.

In Matthew 6:16-18, Jesus teaches, "When you fast, do not look somber as the hypocrites do, for they disfigure their faces to show others they are fasting. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. But when you fast, anoint your head and wash your face, so that it will not be obvious to others that you are fasting, but only to your Father, who is unseen; and your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you."

His teaching reminds us that even during times of struggle, sacrifice, or fasting, we should not neglect how we present ourselves, remember we don’t live in a bubble. What we do, big or small, affects others.

Even in the season of Lent, a time for reflection and self-denial, we are called to care for our bodies. Using the right discernment from the Holy Spirit to guide us.

Again, it’s not about vanity, but about

honoring the body and the

life God has given us.

By caring for ourselves and presenting ourselves with dignity, we acknowledge the worth God sees in us.

As I reflect during this Lenten season, it’s a perfect time to remember that we are called to take care of both our physical and spiritual well-being.

Dressing up, even in small ways, can be an act of self-denial, when you do it to give example, like myself, I have my children who see me. It's a way of acknowledging that despite the challenges and sacrifices we may face, we still honor the gift of our life.

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